The two girls watched the well-dressed lady who sat quietly in a corner, staring at her food. They knew something was bothering her immediately she walked into the restaurant with a blank look on her face. She had absent-mindedly ordered an incongruous mix.
“I’m sorry ma’am, did I hear you right? You requested for fried rice, dried fish and okra soup,” the waitress said hesitantly. “Yes,” the lady responded without looking up. “Are you eating it here or you’re taking it away,” she asked again.
“Eat in,” the lady intoned, barely audible.
“What about drinks? Water?” she asked. The lady nodded, opened her purse and pulled out a credit card. The waitress gave her a puzzled look and went to get her meal. There’s something vaguely familiar about the lady. She was sure she had seen her before.
Her mates were surprised when she dished the food into a serving plate. “Bola, are you out of your mind? Check what you have in that tray,” Cynthia chided her. “Nothing wrong with me, Cynthia. This is what the customer requested.
The customer is always right,” she scowled at her colleague.
Cynthia stared at Bola, expecting the customer to cause a scene. To her surprise, as Cynthia placed the food on the table in front of the elegantly dressed lady, she smiled, showing her the credit card. Bola quickly brought the POS machine.
About 20 minutes later, the lady suddenly shifted her chair and stared at her untouched food, startled. The waitresses stared at her. What the heck is this? How could a right thinking person serve a customer such a mismatch?
As she made to call the waitress’ attention, something nudged her mind: she must have requested for that puke-inducing lot in front of her!
She recalled the look on the waitress’ face and her attempts to ensure she got her order right. She turned to look in the direction of the waitresses and was just in time to see them look away.
A wave of shame enveloped her. What had she done to herself? Why allow a man mess up her life? She needed to ventilate her mind! She needed to…
She picked up her Croc leather designer tote, lifted her shapely ass off the seat and walked out of the restaurant, her food untouched.
She could feel the eyes of the waitresses boring into her back. To hell with them! She had too many things jostling for attention in her head to be really bothered about what the waitresses thought of her. Bola stared at the back of the beautiful lady. She had a funny feeling their paths crossed before.
As she slided into, her SUV, a Mercedes Benz GLE 4 MATIC, she shook her head. She rued her conversation with Jay. How could he think that he would run his life and hers too?
Why would he expect her to alter her tastes and preferences at will, just to please him? She wouldn’t want to discuss their latest fight with anybody.
How would she broach such a subject? Who would believe that she could condone such attitude from a man? No one! She realised that she was really alone in this. How did Jay turn into an ogre?
A guy that was so loving when they met! She almost went bonkers last night. After a busy day in the office, she had looked forward to a quiet night. It was not to be. Jay had called earlier and requested that he would like to eat ‘little brown rice served with vegetable stew’. She had told him that she might not get home before 9pm. “I’ll wait.
That’s what I want for dinner,” he had said. She reminded him that late night food wasn’t healthy for him and he had told her to mind her business.
After 21 years of marriage, she had learnt to just let him be. Anyhow he wanted it, he would have it. Luckily for them, the three kids were in the university. Since their boy left for the university two years ago, she had decided she wouldn’t employ a housemaid again. She’d had terrible experiences with them. Though her job was tasking, she had managed to keep it and her home.
Last night, she had got ten home just before 9pm, knackered. Jay was in the living room watching soccer on the televison and fiddling with his phone in between. On the side table was a half-empty bottle of wine and a wine glass. “Good evening dear,” she had greeted him.
“Welcome,” he said, adding, “Please get my food.
I’ve been drinking on an empty tummy.” She stared at him, opened her mouth to respond, thought against it and went into the bed room. What would she achieve if she gave him what she had in mind? They probably would have quarrelled again and she wasn’t up to it.
All she wanted this night was to just to hug her pillows and sleep off the stress of the day. She went into the room, dropped her bag, pulled off her jacket and rushed into the kitchen. After serving his meal, she went to take a shower.
Afterwards, she was so tired that she jumped into bed and was asleep in seconds. After what felt like minutes, she felt a hand slapping her awake. It was Jay! “So, after serving my dinner, you couldn’t wait up to clear the table? Wife!” he exclaimed. She turned, looked at him with tired eyes and said, “I’m really tired.
I’ll wash the plates in the morning before leaving for work. All I want to do now is sleep. Today was particularly stressful for me. My boss travelled and I had so much work to do.”
“So, because your boss travelled, I won’t enjoy my home? Are you the only married woman in your office?
Do they all get home this late?” he asked. She stared at him, speechless. For how long would she condone this? “I’m sorry,” she said, not because she was, but she was ready to give an arm if only to sleep.
“I’ve heard you. It’s just that I’ve been finding it difficult to sleep. I need you to put me to sleep,” he said, dropping his boxers. She felt like crying! She could barely raise her limbs.
“How…what…” she stammered tiredly, yawning. “Open the door and let me in,” he said roughly, tugging at the duvet she had over her.
She sighed, turned and faced upward. She was in her birthday suit. Today, she would try and sleep through it. Let him hump, grunt and drop whatever fluid he could muster.
Her bones were dead tired. Jay ran his eyes over her and settled on the mound in her lower region. It was clean and appetising.
He puckered his nose and said, “I really never liked this clean shave sef. Some clean shaves make me feel like a paedophile.
You know…I need to pick off the hairs from my teeth after a good meal down there.
That’s part of the enjoyment for me.” She stared at him. His words stung her.
She couldn’t hold herself. “What exactly are you aiming at? Some clean shaves…so you have many clean shaves? What do you really want?” She asked.
“I mean you should grow some hairs there. I want to go down with an African woman, not the poor specie of European lady you seem to have turned yourself into,” he had replied.
Adele started creating the bald look down there as an undergraduate. Before then, she had been moving around with a luxuriant bush that gave her a bulge. She found herself in a hostel room with some ‘mad’ girls.
That was where she heard of the camel toe fad. Some of her roommates had to create artificial camel toe with padded underwear.
Of course, her mound of hair gave her that look but the girls were like, “You can’t deceive us.
We pad our whatchamacallit to create the camel toe looks, you create yours with bushy hair. We’re all artificial. Moreover, hairs down there suck.” They also won’t let her be. Bushy groin was sign of backwardness. She was bush, through and through.
Desiring to ‘belong’ by all means, she had shaved off everything one morning as she took her bath. She was surprised.
Having cleared that area, she had a beautiful mound, the type the girls created with those ‘pads’! The girls were envious! “Wow! You’ve got real camel toe! Look at the meaty lump! I wish I had such.
You’ll have those big guys eating out of your palm,” the girls had gushed. Fortunately, she wasn’t cut out for a ‘runs girl’ life.
She was in the university to acquire a degree that would fetch her a good job and she wasn’t going to jettison that. But then, she wasn’t going to live a completely ‘Jew’ life.
So, she passed through the school and allowed the school to pass through her…just enough not to topple her cart.
It was the same ‘envy of all’ that Jay, who was enamoured by it more than 20 years ago, was complaining about now. She turned to him and snarled, “You have just a few seconds to decide whether you’re going to eat this meal as served, or you go hug your pillow.”
Jay, eyes blazing, lifted the first object he could lay his hands on…
We’re on a new journey.
Do keep a date with me here on Sunday.
Send your observations to: email@example.com