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Should a mother undress in front of her kids?

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Some time ago while waiting to start a meeting, a discussion or rather a bit of an argument ensued about whether it’s okay for mums to undress in front of their kids.

All of us in the room happened to be mums. I was amazed at mums asking, “What is wrong with undressing in front of my kids?!” Huh! It’s a free world no doubt, but we have no idea how our seemingly innocent action might be causing our kids a huge damage. According to a post made by one Kolawole Ladipo, a man has confessed that looking at his mum’s nakedness and watching her undress made him a chronic masturbator.

Kolawole shared an intriguing message to parents about how some habits and sexual behaviours could ruin the life of their kids.

He narrated how a boy became addicted to masturbation by seeing his mum undress before him at an early age. Here is an excerpt form the post: “I counselled a young guy who was addicted to masturbation. He told me he can’t do without masturbation.

One thing that struck me in his confession was when he said: ”My mum caused all this for me”. Curiosity got hold of me and I asked him, how?

He said: “I started masturbation since when I was 4 years old; my mum has always been dressing up naked before me, I am used to seeing her nakedness. I am not moved to have sex with her, but I always long to see mature ladies naked just the way I always see my mum dressing up naked before me.”

“I still remember seeing her nakedness regularly till I was 8 years; and my dad do shout on her: ‘Send this boy out before you dress,’ but my mum would always reply by saying: ‘Will my son sleep with me? Stop planting evil thought in his heart.’ “Anytime I see my mum’s naked body, I long to see ladies’ naked body. I then went into sex at age 10 and till now I am not free from sex, heavy pornography and masturbation…”

We often think little our kids don’t know anything yet and so we feel it’s okay to undress in front of them he also noted that some couples engage in sexual intercourse with their little kids right in the room thinking they can only see but not understand.

Unfortunately, the scene sticks to the memory and they might want to explore and practice what they saw.

While it’s okay to dress loosely at home and try looking sexy for our spouses, some wears shouldn’t go beyond the bedroom, like seethrough nightwear, and dressing in under-wearsonly. Mums should dress well and also sit properly while at home.

For dads, very short boxers may not be appropriate to wear around the house as they could be exposing especially when in a sitting position or lying casually on the couch. Parents carelessly leave pornographic materials for their children to find, watch and begin to experiment.

Sometimes our children play with our phones and in the process are exposed to sexual images and videos we might have received from friends and have forgotten to delete. It is our responsibility to raise decent, well balanced children, and that requires a bit more caution on our part as parents.

I hope mums who think it’s okay for their children to see them undress will see the need to make necessary adjustment.

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The futile attempt by rented miscreants to dance on the sacred grave of Gani Fawehinmi (4)

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INTRODUCTION

Last week, I could not discuss much on the above subject because of some other pressing national issues I dealt with. Today, I shall continue on how Gani fought tyranny and dictatorship across the length and breadth of Nigeria, using the law as an instrument of social engineering. He defended all, whether rich or poor, “corrupt” or “clean”, mighty or low, private persons or public servants. I will not allow the reprobates and malefactors to rewrite history.

 

I EDUCATED THE AUDIENCE ON WHO GANI WAS

 

I recalled to the audience that in fighting tyranny and oppression, Gani in 1984 (during General Muhammadu Buhari’s military junta), defied the NBA (for which he was initially blacklisted and his name entered in the roll of dishonor by the NBA, which later recanted), Consequently, Gani led me and others to defend Colonel Peter Obasa, Chief Kila, Dikko, Udoka, etc, who were accused of corruption and misappropriation of public funds. More on this later. I told the audience how I later founded the Universal Defenders of Democracy (UDD), which was launched by Justice (Dr) Akinola Aguda, in April, 1992. Hon Emeka Ihedioha, who later became Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, was my Director of Publicity.

 

It was this platform I used in securing court injunction against the detention of the “Kuje 5” (Gani, Beko Ransome Kuti, Falana, Baba Omojola and Segun Maiyegun). I also used UDD to stop the execution of General Zamani Lekwot, who had been sentenced to death by a special Military Tribunal set up under the IBB military junta, over the Zagon Kataf crisis.

I never knew General Lekwot. I met him for the first time at the 2014 National Conference where we were both delegates. I was later to co-found the Joint Action Committee of Nigeria (JACON), with Chief Gani Fawehinmi and other leading lights in the pro-democracy movement. Gani was unanimously elected the National Chairman of JACM. I was elected the National Vice Chairman, Publicity and Publications. It was this platform that we used to finally push out the military junta in 1999. It was tough. But, we did it.

 

At the risk of our youthful lives. Where were these blackmailers when we were fighting for the heart and soul of the Nigerian nation?

 

DID GANI EVER DEFEND PERSONS ACCUSED OF CORRUPTION?

The answer is a loud yes.

Gani defended many people who were accused of corruption, embezzlement of public funds, etc. I will show these anon.

 

That did not mean that he was defending corruption. Gani had, during his life time, exhibited his admirable legal wits during numerous encounters in the courts with the best lawyers in Nigeria.

One of such epochal cases in which he appeared is recorded as Gani Fawehinmi vs NBA (1). In this case, Fawehinmi had dragged the NBA to court in 1984 over the Association’s decision, directing lawyers to boycott the Special Military Tribunals (SMT), established by the General Buhari military regime.

To the Ondo-born late activist per excellence, he had a constitutional right and duty to defend any client who hired his services.

As a result, he openly shunned the NBA’s order at a press conference and appeared for his client, Col. Peter Obasa (rtd), a former DG, NYSC, and his Deputy, Chief Kila, then standing trial before the Special Military Tribunal set up by General Muhammadu Buhari in 1984.

 

Distinctly defiant, Gani subsequently instituted an action against the NBA, the General Council of the Bar (GCB) and three Elders of the Bar, Chief F.R.A Williams, Mr. Kehinde Sofola and Chief E.A Molajo, all of blessed memory, over his blacklisting for daring to appear before the military tribunals to defend so called corrupt clients.

 

(To be continued next week).

 

NOW THIS

SO, EVEN SNAKES LOVE MONEY?

Nigeria is such a comical country. South Africa has been busy teaching the world democracy, by bowing to the superior power of a political party, ANC (African National Congress), to force out its sitting president,

 

Jacob Zuma, which it replaced with his Deputy, Cyril Ramaphosa. The same thing had happened in 2008 when the ANC replaced President Thambo Mbeki with his then Vice president, Zuma, after forcing him out. Both cases were anchored on proven cases of corruption; not on simulated and orchestrated media corruption trials. Fastrack to my dear country, Nigeria.

Nigerians are daily regaled with bizarre and eerie tales from Arabian nights (that will torpedo Ali Baba and the 40 thieves). One of such quirky and freakish fictions is the N36 Million snake-swallowing anecdote the country was entertained with last week.

A sales clerk at the JAMB office in Makurdi, by name Philomina Chieshe, had, during a team of auditors’ visit, told a bewildered nation that she could not account for N36 million made in previous years before the abolition of the scratch card system of paying money.

 

She claimed she was one of the four sales clerks attached to JAMB office, Makurdi, whose responsibility was to sell scratch cards to candidates and not to handle revenue. Handling of revenue was the responsibility of one Joan Asen, she narrated. Hear more of her weird story: “It was a mystery to me too. I have been saving the money in the bank, but I found it difficult to account for it.

 

So I started saving it in a vault in the office. But each time I open the vault, I will find nothing. I became worried and surprised how the millions of naira could be disappearing from the vault.

“I began to interrogate everybody in the house and office, and no one could agree on what might have happened to the money. I continued to press until my housemaid confessed. She said that the money disappeared “spiritually”. She said that a “mysterious snake” sneaked into the house and swallowed the money in the vault.” A  snake swallowing money?

 

Haba! We have already heard of the outlandish story of rats taking over the seat of power for some months. Very soon, as 2019 approaches, we may hear odd and strange fabrications about lizards swallowing up ballot papers; of domestic fouls swallowing up ballot boxes; of goats swallowing up card readers! I hope we will not wake up one day to hear of wall geckos swallowing up our foreign reserves!! Nigeria, we hail thee!

 

OF ZUMA, STATUES AND MORALS

Some Nigerians worship mediocrity, clownery and buffoonery.

Jacob Zuma was so corrupt and so hated by his country men and women whom he had governed for nine years that the South Africans forced him to resign prematurely before the end of his second term.

 

But, in Nigeria here, Zuma has a statue erected in the heart of Owerri, Imo State capital, standing in all its splendor and imperioriousness, for his “exemplary leadership and contribution to society”. Can’t our leaders see that we are fast becoming the butt of jokes, mockery, skylarking, jesting, obloquy and derision across Africa?

 

AND THIS

AND THE ORGY OF MASSACRE GOES ON ACROSS NIGERIA

The unrestrained orgy of violence and unprovoked cold blooded slaughter goes on cross Nigeria, as 41 people were brutally massacred on Valentine’s Day under gory and horrendous circumstances.

This heartless blood – letting by organized bandits happened in the sleepy agrarian village of Birane, in Zurmi LGA of Zamfara State. Only last November, gunmen had invaded and torched dozens of houses in Shinkafi LGA of the same Zamfara State, killing 24 people in the process.

Section 14 of the Nigerian Constitution provides that “the security and welfare of the people shall be the primary purpose of government”. Nigerians are asking if we still have real governance in place, or if all we do now is politicks and politicking.

We are screaming 2019 when we are in a deep security quagmire and economic cesspool. All we now hear and read of everyday is death, killings, arson, kidnapping, invasion, slaughtering. Gosh!

 

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Defender of the liberty that I idolize, myself more free than anyone, in coming as a friend to offer my services to this intriguing republic, I bring to it only my frankness and my goodwill; no ambition, no self-interest; in working for my glory, I work for their happiness”. (Marquis de Lafayette).

 

LAST LINE

Hope Nigerians are reading, digesting and awaiting the next exploring discourse of Sunday Sermon on the Mount of the Nigerian Project by Chief Mike Ozekhome, SAN, OFR, FCIArb, Ph.D, LL.D?

• Follow me on twitter @ MikeozekhomeSAN

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Do not tell your husband, “I told you”

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A few months back, a lady walked into my office for counseling.

 

She was very angry with her husband. She had earlier advised him to take to a given line of business but he disregarded her advice. What the husband made up his mind to do did not succeed and this brought financial problems to the family.

 

Many times whenever these financial problems reared their heads, the woman will tell the husband“I told you but you will not listen to me. Can’t you see the result now?” I advised the woman never to tell her husband “I told you”. After explaining to her, she left my office with a smile determined to be an encourager to her husband and not to be reminding him of his failures.

 

One of the worst moments of any responsible man is when he loses his job and is unable to cater for his family. A job loss may reduce the self-esteem of a husband. When he is unable to provide for the family he may feel “less manly”. At this critical point, you the wife should not begin to insult and castigate him

 

Don’t say “I told you”. As a wife, one of the major roles given to you by God is to be a burden sharer and a helper in times of challenges. At moments like these, you are to speak encouraging words to your husband. Make him feel like the man he wants to be.

Do not remind him of how you warned and advised him but he did not listen to you. All these are highly immaterial now. What the man needs now is an understanding wife that will inspire him. Empathetic, sympathetic and pragmatically positive wives who will help make her husband walk again.

 

A wife who will speak comforting words and remind him of what God can use him to do.

 

A wife who will tell her husband that there is no successful man on earth who has never failed before. A wife who will allow the spiritual power in Proverbs 24:16 to penetrate her husband’s spirit, soul and body. Proverbs 24:16 says ”For a just man falls seven times and rises up again…”

 

I remember many years ago before I came into full time ministry, I had a business which I did alongside my pastoral work. I was to get a very big supply business the profit of which we planned to use to buy a house in a highbrow area of the city. But the people wanted me to offer them a bribe which I refused and at that time Carol and I were just trying to survive financially.

 

When the Monday 12 noon deadline to offer the bribe expired, and I was denied the contract, I informed Carol about the loss. What she said was “darling don’t worry, this is not one of the ways God intends to make us rich”.

I almost lost faith in Nigeria during those early years of our marriage but the encouraging words of Carol made me to keep fighting on to become successful in a very corrupt environment.

Hello ladies, do not tell your husband’s again that “I told you”. Instead, heal your pains and encourage him to move on. Love you.

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Columnists

Unlocking our new dawn heritage in Christ

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Welcome to another exciting edition! In previous articles, we examined Understanding our New Dawn Heritage in Redemption and Unveiling our New Dawn Heritage through Encounters with the Word. Today, we shall focus on ‘Unlocking our New Dawn Heritage in Christ!’

 

We must understand that New Dawn connotes new things; experiencing a change of story from strength to strength, from glory to glory and our paths keep shinning brighter and brighter (Deuteronomy 33:25; 2 Corinthians 3:18).

According to Scripture, by redemption we are members of the household of God. We are a new dawn family; that is, when we are saved, old things pass away and all things become new.

As it is written: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

This means that when we are baptised unto Jesus, we are empowered to live and walk in the newness of life (Ephesians 2:19) and we become members of the household of the justified (Proverbs 4:18).

 

But, how do we position ourselves to unlock our New Dawn Heritage in Christ? More often than not, a radio box has all the channels but we have to tune in to the right frequency to access any news.

 

This implies that, before we can position ourselves to unlock our New Dawn Heritage in Christ, we must: § Be Born Again: Until we are born again, we will never access any mystery of the Kingdom. It is written: And he said, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God: but to others in parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand (Luke 8:10).

 

Remember, salvation is not an ideology; it is an experience (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, we should ensure that our salvation is not assumed but genuine.

§ Be Desperate for an Encounter: Everything in the Kingdom delivers on our crave. Be desperate for an encounter into a world of new things that never cease and into a world of strange works and strange acts of God.

 

For instance, the man Zacchaeus was desperate for an encounter with Jesus. Therefore, he climbed the tree and Jesus gave him an unforgettable encounter (Luke 19:1-10). Also, concerning Jacob the Bible records: The Lord sent a word into Jacob, and it hath lighted upon Israel (Isaiah 9:8). His encounter had an impact on a whole nation. Remember, no casual approach holds a future. Be desperate! § Be Spiritual: Only men of the Spirit hear from heaven. We cannot have an encounter with God through His Word without being in the Spirit.

 

As it is written: I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet (Revelation 1:10). It is important that we come out of our carnality into the realm of the Spiritual to unlock our New Dawn Heritage in Christ.

 

The Bible says: After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter (Revelation 4:1).

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