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Boss ladies’ Nest 4: The strange man

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The stranger stood respectfully before them, awaiting their response.

Merely looking at him, one would know that he was a cultured being. His crisp, snow white cotton shirt under a checkered grey tweed jacket, a heavy looking gold Rolex wristwatch peeking out from under a clean cuff as he raised his hands slightly, all gave him a sartorial looks. “May I,” he drawled again, looking directly at Adele.

“Oh yeah,” Blossom said in a voice she could barely recognise as hers, searching Adele’s face.

Adele merely nodded. She didn’t even look up. The two friends were sitting opposite each other, the stranger took a seat between them. “I’m Bolan,” he said by way of introduction, pulling out a very slim gold card holder from his breast pocket. He looked into their eyes, one after the other, as he offered them his call card.

“Can I meet you?” he asked. “I’m Blossom,” she said with a smile, taking his outstretched palm. “Adele,” Adele said with a smile. That smile did something to Bolan. “Can I also have your call cards?” He asked politely.

They both put his call card in their bags and gave him theirs. “I’ve seen you ladies here a couple of times. I do come here often. I love the ambience here. I usually have meetings with my business partners here. I saw you ladies walk in here and I told myself I must meet you today,” he said, glancing briefly at Blossom and resting his eyes on Adele. He spoke so well with an accent that suggested he didn’t grow up in this clime. It wasn’t that kinda forced ‘borrow pose’ accent of today’s wannabes. He had their attention!

Blossom and Adele looked at each other and laughed. It was their evening out and they were bent on enjoying it.

They never craved for company anytime they did their ‘two is a company’ outing, but today, they seemed, without talking out, to want this company. They relaxed. ‘After struggling with your inner beings, you seem to have accepted my company,” he said with a smile that took off years from his looks. “Why…how…why did you say that?” Blossom stuttered.

“I did a little of psychology. So, I understand ‘yooman’ (human) beings. I can read you like mih-ra (mirror).

This is the first time I’m coming close to you but from my observation, you do come here to pour your hearts out,” he said, looking at them like a doctor would look at a frightened patient whose test result showed minor ailment.

The two ladies breathed deeply. If their minds could so easily be deciphered by a stranger, then, they had been wearing their hearts on their sleeves. “So why are you here?” Adele asked, businesslike.

“Let’s just say, I want to meet these beautiful mystery ladies who come here to eat, share a bottle of wine and talk discreetly… although, you aren’t so discreet today. I observed that you laughed so much and that gave me the boldness to talk to you as you seem to be in a better mood today,” he said. Adele sighed deeply and asked, “So what do you want?”

“Are you not having a bite? Let’s order food and another bottle of wine. I’ve ordered my food though…unless you don’t want me to share the table with you,” Bolan said, businesslike also.

“Oh, you can stay. We’ve ordered our food…” Blossom began with a smile, and as if on cue, the waiter appeared, bearing their food. Bolan ordered another bottle of wine and the waiter whispered something into his ears. “Oh…sure…sure, bring my food here,” he told the waiter. Few minutes later, the waiter returned with a bottle of wine and Bolan’s meal. They’d all ordered same food -seafoods. Now, that cracked them up and they laughed.

That laughter loosened them up. “I’m a sucker for seafoods. I love them a lot,” Bolan said.

“We can actually be lured into a kidnapper’s den with seafoods,” Blossom said amid laughter. They ate silently and after their meals, they talked about the state of the economy, President Mohammed Buhari’s ill health and medical trip to the UK, Vice President Yemi Osinbajo’s ‘coordinating’ powers in the absence of his principal and other social issues.

They had a little argument over the 82 Sambisa Forest returnees and by that time, Adele was becoming restless.

She had to be home before 10.30pm and it was past 9pm. She’d been communicating with Blossom with her eyes. The two friends were so close that they could hold lengthy conversation with their eyes, without uttering a word. Suddenly, she picked her wallet from inside her bag, stood up and excused herself: she wanted to use the convenience. When she returned, she took her seat and joined in the small talks for a few more minutes before announcing her desire to leave

. “Oh dear. It’s been a lovely evening with you ladies.

The selfish me wouldn’t want it to end because you’re both great company. But you’re right, it’s getting pretty late for responsible ladies like you. I hope I didn’t bore you and will be glad if we can do this again very soon. I really want to see you again,” Bolan said.

“You’re a good company too,” Blossom said.

Adele mumbled something. Her mind was already home. She’d got some official issues to think through this night and she wasn’t sure what mood she would meet her hubby. Going home always scared her. She had woken up at 4.30am, prepared breakfast and dinner for Jay. All he would need to do was bring dinner out from the refrigerator and toss it in the microwave for some minutes.

Since she did all that in the morning, she shouldn’t really be worried, but not when living with a Jay as husband. When she woke him up and told him that his breakfast was in the food warmer and dinner in the fridge, he had heckled her that early in the morning.

She prayed that he would be in a good mood this night.

“Let me settle the bill, then I’d walk you ladies to your car,” Bolan said. “Oh no,” Adele said. “What’s the problem?” Bolan and Blossom chorused, looking at her.

“I mean, I’ve paid, let’s go,” she told them. Bolan stared at her. Blossom nodded her head proudly. So like her friend! They all pay their bills! It was Adele’s turn to foot the bill.

They usually took turns to pay during their hangouts. “When did you pay?” Bolan asked, he was sure it was a joke. “I did when I went to use the convenience.

Come on, it’s not strange. We had ordered our food and drinks before you joined us. So, you are our guest and we have to take care of you,” Adele said with a smile.

That really took the wind off Bolan. He shook his head as he looked from one friend to the other. “How much did you pay? I have to refund it.

It’s most ungentlemanly to allow you pay for our meals,” he said, pulling out an alligator wallet. “I haven’t read it anywhere where it’s written that the man must pick the bills all the time,” Adele said, adding, “Or have you sis?” Blossom smiled and responded with a wink, “I haven’t too.”

Bolan stared at them, amused. The short time he’d spent with them seemed like eternity. He felt he’d known them for years, especially Adele, who seemed to be given to too few words.

He sighed. “We must do this again very soon and let it be on record that I’ll be the host,” he said, seriously.

The two friends laughed. They felt good. Women shouldn’t be receiving all the time, they should also give. “Have we agreed on that?” Bolan asked in a school headmaster’s tone.

“Yes sir,” the two friends chorused and burst into laughter. They were really good company. He felt happy.

He had found the joy that had eluded him for years. He would sleep peacefully this night. “Will you graciously grant me the honour of walking you to your car?”

He asked them. “No problem,” Blossom said while Adele merely nodded. “Thank you my ladies,” he said. Adele was already moving towards the door. In her heart, she prayed that Jay would be in a good mood. Blossom’s SUV was parked close to the entrance.

They bid her bye and as she drove out, they moved to Adele’s SUV, which was parked at one end of the parking lot. She walked briskly, Bolan in tow. He felt the urgency in her stride. “Any problem dear? You seem to be in a hurry,” he said gently.

“Yeah, my hubby is home and waiting,” she said, not breaking her stride. Coincidentally, their cars were parked beside each other. As she was about to close the door of her SUV, he held on to it.

She looked up at him. “I have a confession. I come here to see you,” he said. “How?

What do you mean?” Adele asked impatiently. “I mean that since I saw you here about seven months ago with your friend, I have been coming here and using here as my meeting venue with my clients and praying that I’d see you again.

My prayers have been answered a number of times for I have seen you here. I won’t tell you the crazy things I have done just to know more about you. But I’ll tell you what happened last night. I saw you in my dream. You were not happy.

You were crying and I wanted to help but there was an obstacle. I can’t say what the obstacle was in the dream, but I woke up with the urgency that I must see you today or I lose you.

I know you come here only on Fridays and I know that today is not a Friday, but my spirit told me that you’ll be here today. I’m happy that I obeyed my spirit man and came here today,” he said earnestly.

Adele stared at him. Did this man possess some psychic powers? Of course, she usually hung out with Blossom on Fridays.

Today was the first time they would come here on a Thursday. Anyway, she had to get home.

“I’m sorry, I have to go home now,” she said urgently, looking into his face. “Sure darling. I’m happy that I’ve spoken to you. What time can I call you please?

I really want to talk to you,” he said. “Call me during office hours,” she said, turning on the engine of her car. Bolan offered his hand for a handshake.

As Adele took it, he raised her palm daintily and brushed his lips against it and looked into her eyes…

*****

Hmmmmmmmmm………

Did Adele go home?

Let’s find out on Sunday

Send your observations to: julietbumah@gmail.com

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Bed Work & Life

Vagina wigs are newest fashion trend

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Another day, another fashion trend that will make you question everything

If some of the finer points of New York Fashion Week have passed you by, don’t fret, we’ll fill you in.

There were floral prints, bizarre hair accessories and…vagina wigs.

Also known as a merkin, vagina wigs date back to the 1600s, when ladies of the night would wear them after shaving their hair off for health reasons.

 

The, er, brains behind this merkin renaissance is South Korean designer Kaimin.

Kaimin showcased a broad range of wigs, which are available in various colours, lengths and styles, so there’s something for everyone.

Describing the designs, Kaimin’s press release explained the merkins were created “to assist irregular silhouettes” and “to bridge the gap of hard versus soft.”

“Because the Kaimin collection has a huge central theme of pride in your body and your sexuality – although they are not mutually exclusive – we had a lot of freedom here,” creative director of Prema Hair, Dale Delaporte tells whimn.com.au.

“We really wanted to push the futuristic punk aesthetic of this season’s collection and having matching hair and merkins was perfect.

“We worked hard on figuring out the best way to get them made and to have them looking as natural as possible and the results speak for themselves!”

They certainly do.

Mirror, UK

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Bed Work & Life

Is your partner micro-cheating? Let’s face it, whose isn’t?

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So your partner shows a fleeting interest in other men or women? Congratulations… you’ve probably picked well

Are you guilty of “micro-cheating”? I’d forgive you for having no clue, because I’ve now read about two dozen articles on this latest pop-psychology buzzphrase, which went viral last month, and I’m more confused than when I started. It refers, as far as I can tell, to seemingly innocuous behaviours that actually count as infidelity. But the examples given by dating experts range from wishing someone happy birthday on Facebook, which plainly isn’t a problem, to taking off your wedding ring before chatting someone up in a bar, which plainly is. (Does your partner talk about their ex too much? That’s micro-cheating. But what’s “too much”? No one will say.) Confusing matters further, micro-cheating apparently also includes things that are obviously signs that your partner is having an affair of the conventional variety. If he spends ages staring goggle-eyed at pictures of another woman on his phone, while you look grumpy on the other side of the bed, there are only two possibilities: either you’re posing for stock photos for magazine articles on relationship problems, or you’ve got a relationship problem.

 

Micro-cheating is an unhelpful idea, as the psychologist Justin Lehmiller noted on The Cut website, because it implies that feeling the tiniest attraction to anyone else is a red flag – a notion so at odds with normal human functioning that it sets a standard no relationship could ever meet. Beyond that, like the idea of the “emotional affair” before it, it seems destined to worry or reassure precisely the wrong people. If you’re needy and insecure, you’ll suspect your partner is micro-cheating when they aren’t – possibly even driving them away, creating the very breach you feared. Conversely, if you’re trying to avoid confronting the truth that your relationship is in trouble, you’ll take false comfort if your partner’s actions happen not to tick any boxes on the micro-cheating list.

 

The fundamental point is that what constitutes a “relationship problem”, surely, is defined entirely by the expectations of the people in it. So if you’re genuinely fine with your other half sleeping around, you don’t have a problem (although you should be alert to the risk that you’re deceiving yourself). Meanwhile, if you’re horrified by their wishing people happy birthday on Facebook, you do have a problem (though it’s probably one rooted in your anxiety). What some dating expert thinks is at best irrelevant and at worst hugely misleading.

 

One of the great insights of psychoanalysis is that relationships are never just a matter of whether two personalities match. We project our fantasies on to the other, then react with shock when it turns out they’re a real, flawed person – then, often as not, we leave to project the fantasy on to someone else. The problem with real-world relationships is that the truly good ones have bad parts and the truly bad ones have good parts. Deep down, you probably know which yours is. That’s not to say certain kinds of experts – therapists, mainly – can’t help you see what you already subconsciously know. But it’s a good bet that, without the aid of made-up concepts like “micro-cheating”, you do know.
Culled fromThe Guardian, Uk

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Bed Work & Life

Bossladies Nest 40: Valentine’s Day shivers

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Jay had one of his worst nights in months. He had sat in the living room till very late and was going to his bedroom when he heard a sound emanating from Adele’s room. He stopped and listened. She was moaning from pleasure. He knew that sound. He had heard it numerous times. His wife was pleasuring herself again! This night, he wasn’t angry for he had realised that he caused it. For more than ten years, he had neglected his wife and family totally. He had kept mistress after mistress. Of late, he wasn’t discreet about it. He didn’t care if his wife caught him or not…and she did catch him a number of times. He dragged himself to his room. Sleep eluded him. He tossed and turned. Then, Debola crept into his mind. Where could she have gone? Or, could it be that she committed a crime and had gone into hiding? Why would the police be looking for him if she disappeared? He had confided in his friend, Tyrone, who told him to go to the police station and find out what happened.
That was the bit he didn’t find palatable. He had called Tyrone again and asked if they could go together.
“My guy, officially, I’m outta town. I travelled for business, but unofficially, I’m in town, cooped up somewhere with the lady of my dream. You need to see her. She’s beauty personified,” Tyrone had told him
Hmmmmmmmmmm! If only Tyrone knew what infidelity had caused him!
Anyway, they would meet at the police station at noon. Still, he was worried. Debola was missing. Who would have linked him to her? Who would have mentioned him to the police? Could Debola have been talking about him to people? Could Debola be missing truly? He knew that she could do anything, including feigning her kidnap just to lay her hands on good money. He felt very uncomfortable.
All he wanna do now was seek his wife’s face. He had been dealing so treacherously with her. He had to retrace his footsteps and return to the family he had neglected for years.


Adele got out of bed sunny side up. Last night went down well with Bolan. She capped it all with a solo gig with her adult toys in her room. She really went wild with herself and screamed in ecstasy as she worked herself into orgasmic state. Let Jay walk up the wall for all she cared, she thought, as she lay spent on her bed. Enough is enough! How could she be mourning when she lost no one? She shook her head in wonderment.
She didn’t believe she could be so happy. Only her children gave her such joy and put her in such positive mode.
This morning, she felt as fit as a fiddle. As she took her morning bath, she sang and wiggled her waist. It felt so good to be free of worries.
Today, she would go shopping. She hadn’t shopped in a while. She needed to update her wardrobe. She had handed down many of her dated wears to her young cousins. It was her annual end of the year ritual. She would pick up a few fashionable items in the shops and then come back home and laze around.
After her bath, she went to the kitchen and rustled up breakfast for Jay. No matter how bad he was to her, she wouldn’t allow him to turn her into an ogre. Her freezer was upside down. Things weren’t the way she left them. She cursed under her breath and shook her head.
She still found it hard to fathom why Jay brought in his mistress into their home and locked her out of the house.
She also wondered why the police came looking for Jay.
The security man had told her everything that happened – how Jay came back home with a lady, how the lady forced him (security man) to proceed on an unscheduled off duty.
The bit about the police coming to her house to look for Jay’s mistress riled her. Why would the police come to her house to look for her husband‘s mistress? Had she started giving people Jay’s address as her own? Anyway, she would get to the root of it all…but not just now. And the impostor had the guts to enter her kitchen and reorder things! Well Jay caused it all.
Despite her anger, she still made Jay a tantalising English breakfast. No one would accuse her of shirking her duties.
“What are you cooking dear?” Jay asked, walking into the kitchen.
Adele stiffened. Was that meant for her?
“Good morning, my wife. How was your night?” He asked again.
“Good morning,” Adele said without enthusiasm.
“How was your night,” he asked.
“It was very good,” she said jovially.
Jay swallowed hard. Of course, her night was good, that he knew.
“Er…em…er…we need to talk,” he stuttered.
“I’m going out now. We’ll talk when I’m back,” she said.
“Why didn’t you go to the office today?” He asked.
“I’ll still go,” she lied.
“Okay. It’s important we talk,” he said.
“We’ll make out time for that. How’s your health? You need to take lots of water,” she said.
“I’m much better. Yeah, I’m taking lots of water,” he said, swallowing hard.
He stood and watched her dish out his food and hurry out of the kitchen. He didn’t know what to do. He followed her to the dinner table and sat down as she set the food and left.
It wasn’t going to be easy for him to win back her respect, he knew that and was ready to wait.
Adele dumped the Jeans she wanted to wear and picked a not too casual gown. She had lied that she was going to the office. She had to wear something close to office wear.
Less than half an hour later, she was ready to leave the house.
“You look good, my dear wife,” Jay said as Adele moved into the sitting room.
A surprised Adele looked towards the dinning table where he was.
“Thank you very much,” she said, walking towards the door.
“Come back home early dear. I’m waiting for you,” Jay said.
Adele didn’t respond. She opened the door and walked out to the garage. She just didn’t understand the game Jay was playing. When was the last time he spoke to her like a human being? She couldn’t remember!
As she turned on the ignition of her SUV, her phone beeped. It was Bolan. She smiled and answered the call.
“My woman! Beautiful morning my darling,” he said.
Adele’s heart melted.
“Good morning my dear. How was your night?” she said.
“I had a very restful night my love. It was filled with thoughts of you. Where are you?” He asked.
“Just leaving home. I told you I’m going shopping this morning,” she said.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I told you I want to go shopping with you. Secondly, I want to ask you to be with me on Wednesday,” he said.
“On Wednesday? What’s happening on Wednesday?” she asked.
“Can I see you now? I’ll tell you what’s happening on Wednesday,” he said.
“Hmmmmmmmm ok, meet me at the mall. Will be there in less than an hour,” she said and ended the call.
She engaged the gear almost immediately and drove towards the gate. She had to move because she saw her front door open. As she was driving out of the gate, she saw Jay step on the porch.
As she drove into the mall less than an hour later, her phone beeped. It was Blossom.
“Babe, it’s been a while. How have you been?” Blossom said in her usual zesty manner.
She ignored the call. She wasn’t in the mood to talk now.
Bolan, ever punctual, was waiting for her at the mall.
The mall was crawling with shoppers. Bolan and Adele kept to the exclusive shops in the mall. That way, they avoided the crowd as much as they could.
Bolan didn’t allow her to pay for a single item she picked. It was strange to her for she was used to paying her bills.
“My woman, they’re my pre Valentine’s Day gift to you,” he told her as she kicked.
Oh Valentine’s Day! Adele couldn’t remember the last time she was happy on Valentine’s day.
As they left the last shop with bags of buys, Bolan smiled.
“What’s amusing you,” she asked him.
“Let’s go for lunch,” he said with twinkles in his eyes.
“Talk to me dear,” she told him.
He smiled broadly and said, “My office is a few minutes drive from here. ”
“You don’t mean it!” she exclaimed.
She had really not been interested in where he lived or worked.
“Just drive behind me and lemme show you my office. Then we’ll go for lunch afterwards,” he said.
Adele agreed. She had already told her hubby that she was going to the office. It meant she wasn’t expected home early and she also didn’t want to get home too early and be with him. He seemed to be in a talkative mood and she didn’t feel up to it. Time was when she always wanted to talk with him the way husbands and wives do. Not any more. They’ve grown so apart. She was used to him locking himself up in his room while she did same.
Bolan’s office was exquisitely furnished. It sat atop a massive four storey building in an upscale part of town.
Adele had a taste of what was to come when Bolan drove through a reserved gate and said something to the smartly clad security man who looked towards her. She guessed Bolan told the guy to allow her in. It was a private car park.
They took a private lift to the penthouse. A gorgeously dressed beautiful lady was at the office leading to a expansive, aristocratic office which Bolan took her into.
“You’re welcome to my office, my woman. Feel free dear,” he said immediately the oak door closed behind them.
Then, he drew her into his arms and cuddled her. She felt like she was being sucked into his being. He then led her to a stuffed leather chair.
Adele was shaken. She couldn’t explain what just happened to her. They stared at each other. Bolan tried to get himself together. The intensity of passion that passed through them a moment ago scared him.
He cleared this throat…


Debola could hear them arguing outside. Whatever they were saying had to do with her. She was alone in the room for the whimpering man had been taken outside.
“This is bad business. When Baba finished fortifying me, he told me that only one thing would make me vulnerable. My mother’s name is Ruth. He told me never to go near a Ruth. Also, blood from a woman’s monthly circle is bad omen for me. The cargo in there is a Ruth and I saw something like blood between her thighs,” a voice quavered.
“Haaaaaaaaaaa! Bad luck. And I’ve told chief it’s a done deal o. What do we do now? We just have to waste this cargo and hunt for another one ASAP,” another voice said.
“Just let me think,” the first voice said.
Inside the room, Debola, still lying on the floor, trembled…
##########
Let’s continue this journey on Sunday!
Send your observations to: julietbumah@gmail.com

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