Adele stared at her bosom friend, Blossom. She was telling her things she hadn’t heard before.
At her age, she felt she should have known such things. She was happy her daughter hadn’t asked her such questions.
A living being needs to upgrade in terms of knowledge constantly! It’s never too late to learn anyway.
The two friends had met after work.
They usually hung out often before, but with promotions in their respective offices and the added responsibilities, they had not been meeting real time like before. But then, they remained connected via the phone.
They, like their other mutual friends, would be described as ‘Made ladies’.
They are successful professionals and bosses who call the shot in their respective workplaces.
The term, Bossladies, sits daintily on them like couture dresses. Hmmmmmmmmm, their stories are for another day!
Meanwhile, Adele had narrated what happened in her home the previous night to her friend.
When she got to the pubic hair palaver, Blossom had burst into laughter. She didn’t blame her. Who wouldn’t? She joined in the laughter.
But then, Blossom made a startling revelation.
“Shaving pubic hair has become a common practice today because most women and even men prefer that the area down there is clean and hairless.
But do you know that there is a reason you have pubic hair? It’s probably not a good idea to shave ‘em hair all off for any reason,” Blossom said, trying to keep a straight face. “So, the pubic hair has its own use down there?”
Adele asked Blossom, eyes round like saucers. Blossom took a deep breath and continued,
“There aren’t much documented studies that point out whether shaving pubic hair is good or not.
This practice has been in existence from the ancient times and it is believed that a clean vagina is one of the many factors that attracts the partner and appeals to the man.
However, there is a downside to it.
“The sweat glands present in the pubic region secrete pheromones, which stimulate yours and your partner’s ‘tango’ desires.
The hair present in the region primarily locks the odour and that’s why every woman has a unique odour that attracts her man.
Lack of hair in the region would mean less pleasure as it fails to stimulate your sense of smell.
Stimulating your five senses during tango with your man maximizes pleasure.” Adele burst into laughter, she just couldn’t help it. Pubic hair adding to tango pleasure! She let out a very unladylike guffaw.
People around threw them glances. “I’m sorry babe. I just couldn’t hold that laughter.
This pubic hair lecture cracked me up,” she said, breathing deeply to steady her nerves. “I’m happy I made you laugh dear. You were so tensed up,” Blossom replied.
“Yeah, I was tensed up…but who taught you that? Don’t tell me it was our Biology teacher o,” Adele said.
“No, I didn’t learn that in school, a friend of mine, Nurse Peace, actually told me,” Blossom said.
“So, your advice is that I grow Sambisa Forest down there so they will wedge between Jay’s teeth during cunnilingus and he will have reasons to pick them out with toothpick eh?” she asked.
It was Blossom’s turn to shriek with laughter. A man seated closest to them on the other table shifted his seat a little further from them. He then stared at them unabashedly.
The two friends looked at him and went into another round of laughter. To hell with him and what society thought of their action!
“Babe, while we are on this pubic thing, I hope you engage in ‘vagina Kung fu’?” Blossom asked. “Vagina what? Can you be serious for once?”
Adele asked, keeping a straight face with difficulty. Blossom took a deep breath and launched into a lengthy lesson, “It is an alternative to Kegels, dear. It’s another way to work out your pelvic floor muscle.
The pelvic floor is essential for supporting several organs, including the uterus, bowel and bladder.
Vagina Kung fu helps you in contracting your pelvic floor muscles. These muscles run from your pubic bone to the base of your spine in order to hold objects in place.
Vagina Kung fu actually means vagina weightlifting in the true sense of it.
You know what, studies have shown that the exercise can treat some common conditions caused by weak pelvic floor in women.
It’s actually an interesting exercise and if you master it, you’ll always wanna be in ‘za oza room’ because the feeling will be out of this world,” Blossom said with glee. Adele gaped at her.
She definitely had not been reading, not been updating her knowledge. Whatever happened to her inquisitive mind!
“You have heard of urinary incontinence? It is said to affect roughly one in four or five women, not sure which again, over the age of 18. But that is not even where I’m heading with my unsolicited lecture.
Embracing this exercise could lead to better orgasm.
Yeah…I mean like mind blowing orgasm that disintegrates into a kaleidoscope of beautiful colours. That’s the catch dear. With a strong pelvic floor, you are more in control internally during penetrative tango. I read it somewhere that it aids stronger grip during tango and the result is more intense contraction during orgasm. You know what they call Cloud 9? That’s it. Babe, you need to experience it!”
Adele was all ears. Adrenaline surged through her body.
Thoughts of a banger tango sweetened her belly…but thought of her hubby killed the feeling immediately. Well, she would get to that later. First, she would glean all she could from her friend.
Anything that would keep her mind off office and domestic stress was welcomed. She leaned forward and asked, “How does this sensual Kung fu work? What else do I have to know?” She was really eager to learn more. “Knowledge is power, girl.
Go read and learn more. Hygiene is involved too. Google it.
We complain that standard of reading is waning among our youths, but we, as parents, are also not reading,” Blossom preached. “Google it,” Adele repeated, with a smile.
“What’s that? “ Blossom asked. “Oh, nothing. That phrase reminds me of a colleague, Kayode.
He once told us a story of how he got his children to get used to learning online with the aid of Google,” she said, grinning. They laughed loud and long again.
The man at the closest table shifted his seat and stared at them openly with distaste. As if pre-planned, they stuck out their tongues, did a ‘Dino Melaye face’ at him and laughed.
The man looked away. The two friends didn’t care. It was almost 7pm.
They had talked for almost an hour. They signaled to a waiter and ordered their food. They’re both suckers for seafoods.
They requested for the best and ordered a bottle of choice red wine. They should have made their orders when they got to the upscale restaurant, but Adele wasn’t in a cheery mood then.
Now, they had to wait for another 20 minutes for their food to be ready. The bottle of wine came in minutes.
After the first few sips, Adele leaned forward and asked, “Babe, so how will you help my case? I’m dying slowly in that house.
Jay is handing me death by installment. There’s no joy in me. It’s only when my children are home that I truly laugh at home. I’ve gotten to the end of my tether.”
Blossom sighed deeply leaned forward, opened her mouth to say something, then looked beyond Adele.
Adele turned to see what had caught her friend’s attention. Walking towards them was a middle-aged dude who oozed class.
He nodded slightly at them as he stood before their table and drawled, “Mind if I join you ladies?” Both ladies felt butterflies in their belly…
Who’s this stranger?
Let’s find out on Sunday!
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