In recent months, the media has been awash with reports of people either committing suicide or attempting to do so. Suicide is the act of killing yourself intentionally or causing your own defeat for various reasons, most of which are yet to be confirmed by investigations. It is only a thorough scientific research that can establish whether or not there is a link between suicidal incidents and marital relationships.
There are suicides that are not pre-planned but occur following a bad news or negative discovery that affect self esteem. However, experts say that most incidents of suicide occur after certain processes. First, there is suicidal ideation.
Here, the idea of suicide occurs to an individual as a result of a particular unpleasant experience, shameful encounter or unsatisfactory result of a personal self evaluation. After suicidal ideation, there is suicidal urge or ambition which is the urge to end life’s journey.
Thereafter, suicide attempt follows. Sometimes, the actual suicide occurs. One of the known causes of suicide is depression. Depression is a situation where the victim suddenly has feelings of severe despondency and dejection. It is a sudden feeling of being unimportant.
The person begins to feel empty, hopeless or worthless. Sometimes, this is caused by inability to achieve a certain life goal to which so much passion and emotion has been applied. Also, when you suddenly begin to lose interest in a good venture you were very passionate about, or begin to withdraw from good people that you hitherto could not do without, or begin to witness change in your sleep habit or notice that your entire life is being stressed up without enough rest, watch it.
The ability to resist depression (i.e. hope and persistence entertainment capacity) and the temptation to commit suicide, is subject to the mental and psychological strength of the personality involved (weak or strong personality), environmental factors and hereditary factors.
For instance, if you belong to an environment where you are bombarded regularly with pictures of hopelessness, how difficult and impossible life is, and how unreliable your government, leadership and society is, you may be at risk. It is worse if this challenge is coming from your spouse.
Today, very many people are depressed even though it is not everyone that considers the suicide option. However, it could be easy for a depressed person to embrace the thought of suicide when the person’s spouse withdraws an existing true love from the relationship.
What I am saying here is that you must stop doing those things that could push your spouse into considering suicide. You may never have opportunity to right your wrong beginnings but there will always be an opportunity to right your present and future.
When your spouse is a born again Christian and you constantly and deliberately deny him or her sexual pleasure because you know there is a biblical injunction against adultery, you are pushing your spouse towards frustration in marriage.
This could lead to a stupid action like rape of someone else, following a leading of the devil through you. This may result in disgrace, and then, suicide ideation. You have gone to have a male child outside your marriage without your wife’s knowledge and you know she loves and trusts you so much, even though she has only female children or does not even have any child.
When she discovers this by herself, what do you think will happen to her? Of course, you have set a suicide trap. Your spouse’s boss in the office is a bully and treats him or her like a slave but the job is difficult to leave for obvious reasons.
The bigger problem is that when he or she gets home from work each day, what the person gets from you is nagging, maltreatment, oppression and violence instead of encouragement. You are working for Satan to push your spouse into a realm of danger.
Out of love over the years, your spouse has been releasing a bulk or his or her hard earned resources to you each time you make a request. Unknown to the person, you have been spending his or her sweat on a illicit relationship. What do you think could happen when the person discovers?
Have you been taking advantage of your husband because of his overwhelming love for you to the extent of portraying him as a fool before his younger ones and relatives, colleagues or subordinates? My dear, sometimes, you do not appreciate the value of what you have until you lose it. You are sowing a seed that could produce the kind of fruit you may not expect. You spouse loves you so deeply. Yet, every time, you take decisions and actions that affect your marriage and family without consulting him or her.
You deny him or her communication when it is needed most. You even bear malice over matters that do not warrant such action. These kinds of behaviour could cause depression and even result in suicide. Do you know? Before you married your spouse, expectations of marital joy and happiness were very high. But since you got married, it has been frequent quarrelling and fighting, most times generated by you. Maybe you even beat up your spouse like a kid every time. This is part of emotional torture.
It can produce frustration, depression and possibly, suicide ideation. If suicide eventually happens, you cannot deny the fact that you are the cause. These days, marriages with true love and emotional bonding are scarce, even though they are available. Couples can however, reduce the rate of frustration in marriages if they begin to get conscious of each other’s moods and feelings.
If you are not close to your spouse, please get closer. What are some of the possible signs that your spouse may be undergoing depression as a result of your actions? What is solution to depression? Find out in the next edition. Your marriage is blessed in Jesus name.