Connect with us

Mum & Parenting

Between discipline and abuse in marriage

Published

on

Between discipline and abuse in marriage

Some have said it is necessary for the husband to discipline his wife as a show of love and care just as a parent would do to an erring child. Some have even come up with Bible verses to back up this claim. But then, who disciplines the man when he errs. Or doesn’t he err at one time or the other?

I came across an article on VirginiasSecret- Garden at mattforney.com where a woman shared her perspective and personal experience on wife discipline.

The following are excerpts from the article and responses from readers: “A lot of people think the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle is abusive. Going by what the mainstream media says, I’m actually a Stepford wife who lives in fear of her husband.

Somebody save me! But the reality is that husbands absolutely must assert dominance over their wives in order to have a happy marriage. When my husband spanks me for upsetting him in some way, he’s not just reaffirming his status as my master and the head of the household, he’s satisfying a primal urge in me, letting me know that he cares.

It’s been shown time and time again that neglected children will act out and deliberately break the rules in order to get their parents to pay attention to them…

We women are the same way; when our husbands and boyfriends ignore us, we’ll do something to annoy them just to get their attention. We ladies can reign in this behavior on our own somewhat, but we need the guiding hand of a man to suppress it completely. It’s the nature of Eve’s sin: we women are inclined to rebel against earthly authority, to the detriment of ourselves and our husbands.

Because feminists have obscured this fundamental reality, neither men nor women can effectively deal with womens’ rebellious nature. Modern marriages follow this typical pattern: Wife acts up in an attempt to get her husband to bring her under control. Husband ignores wife, either because he doesn’t know he needs to discipline her or he’s afraid of the legal consequences of doing so.

Wife becomes contemptuous of her husband for not putting her in her place and starts acting up even more. Husband continues to ignore wife, creating a downward spiral where sex drops off, arguments flare up, and both sides are increasingly miserable.

Wife files for divorce because she is not haaapppy. When women and children misbehave, they are not just looking for punishment but looking for absolution.

Assuming they’re not psychopaths, they know what they’re doing is wrong; they want an authority figure (husband or parent) to tell them they’ve been bad, punish them for it, and then forgive them afterwards.

This cycle of misbehavior, punishment and forgiveness scratches an inch deep within the female psyche, letting us know that we’re being looked out for.

Now, I’m not saying that you should encourage your husband to give you a shiner. There’s a right way and a wrong way to be disciplined. But our inherently sinful and defiant nature means that our husbands have to discipline us to keep us happy. I hate getting spanked. When my husband calls me into our bedroom and tells me to pull my skirt down, I feel dread.

I hate having a sore butt and I hate being driven into a crying fit. My husband has told me over and over again that he hates spanking me too, because seeing me crying and in pain breaks his heart.

But despite the suffering and tears, I’m grateful that my husband corrects my misbehavior. When he gets finished paddling me and holds me afterwards, I feel a deep satisfaction in knowing that he loves me enough to protect me from myself.”

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Categories

Pages

Close

Trending

%d bloggers like this: