Mothers are natural cheerleaders, always there fuelling hopes and dreams of our loved ones. We give them the push and support they need to go after their goals and dreams, to excel at work, business and school, though sometimes we do that from the ‘sidelines’. We cheer the most when they succeed, and provide a shoulder for them to cry on when things don’t quite turn out as expected. But how come we do not get as much support to go after our dreams and aspirations? Maybe we just don’t get to ask!
We get it wrong when we see going after our dreams and being there for our loved ones as being mutually exclusive. And so we find it difficult, or even consider it something terribly wrong to ‘leave’ them to do things for ourselves.
We fear that if we do, it will diminish our connection with them, or that there will be no one to look after them – if we don’t take care of them who will?! Right? You want the truth? Someone else will. Well, maybe not as well as we would, but they will be taken care of alright.
But if we choose to look at it objectively we will see that going after our dreams can really enhance our relationships with our loved ones in so many ways and everyone will be better for it, our communities too. Just think about it. A mom of five had a lifelong dream of having a university degree. She had dropped out of a degree program sometime in the past due to some challenges she encountered at the time, but she believed her dream would come true someday. With five kids and a household to manage, her hope of achieving her dream began to wane over time.
Maybe it would remain just a dream after all, she thought. She decided to start a small business to supplement her husband’s income. Then the opportunity came knocking when she heard about a university in Nigeria offered degree programs online and on part time basis. That was good news to her since it offered the flexibility she needed.
With the support of her husband she got an application form and quickly enrolled for a degree program. A few years later, her dream did not only come true, she was the best graduating student in the school that year.
She won five different awards and was offered an automatic employment with the institution, and she is well on her way towards having a PhD, which she says is her long term goal.
Reading through her interviews in the national dailies, she said she owed her education and all she had achieved to her husband who believed so much in her and in her ability to make it. She said he was there for her, and he stood by her all the way.
He drove her to the library to read, and he took over the role of the house as a father, husband and ‘mother’. He took care of their five kids, did school runs, and kept them from distracting her when she needed to study.
Every woman has got huge potentials, which her role as a mother does not diminish, but enhances. Given the right support, the sky is her limit, or like it’s said these days, “The sky is just the starting point!” Whatever your dream, go for it mom!
• Culled from Super Mom Makeover the eBook, lesson 10 ‘Bringing Others Along’ by yours truly. Available on Amazon Kindle.
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