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. . . Still on ‘Back-up’ Affair

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. . . Still on ‘Back-up’ Affair

This subject matter elicited mixed reactions since last week when the topic was broached. I have received as many questions and diametrically opposed views as commendations and approvals. The barrage of misconstrued opinions necessitated the need to revisit the issue for clarity and better understanding. Relationship is key in human life. A successful relationship is germane to a prosperous, peaceful and fulfilled career and marital life.

If anyone misses making the right choice at the level of friendship through dating (courtship) to marriage, it takes the grace of God to fulfill destiny and be equal to peers at the right time. Courting a wrong association or marrying a wrong partner often place indelible marks of frustration, failure and stagnation in one’s life.

Marital instability is a serious calamity to any man or woman that has purpose, dreams and visions to actualise. It is better prevented than amended. The fact that single and responsible men are in short supply is taking its toll on the emotional and psychological wellbeing of our marriage-bemused women. This is understandable as every woman desires to be martially fulfilled; and it is a legitimate desire though. The idea of adopting a ‘back-up’ strategy in relationship has been with us for ages but it’s not mentioned in the lexicon of relationship until now.

My opinion on this subject may not be popular with some people but I will say what I consider to be the truth. Let me bring in an analogy here before I conclude my take. In June 2017, a woman divorced her husband of six years over epileptic sexual life. In her statement, throughout the six years, their sexual encounters were only targeted at conception. She said her husband, who was very weak in bed, slept with her 28 times in six years, a situation she insisted she can no longer cope with.

Now, whenever she decides to remarry, won’t she insist on “sampling” her wouldbe- partner to avoid the mistake of the past? Let’s not pretend please, it is natural for whoever has this kind of experience to demand for premarital sex. I’m not a judge over anybody’s affair but I will any day, anytime canvass “bed undefiled” kind of courtship.

However, will my opinion prevent those who have genuine fears in that regard from following their heart? Then, how will you blame someone who has serially been jilted from considering a ‘back-up’ plan? I believe you can gauge the level of your partner’s sexual prowess without necessarily sleeping together. Intimate gist will reveal much of the stuff he/she is made of. For adults, sex talk is not only permitted but a must especially for those who choose the path of matrimonial purity which I stand for. ‘Back-up’ plan in relationship, like I noted last week, is not tantamount to double-dating. Ideally, it is recommended in unsteady or rancorous relationships especially where interventions have failed. The plan applies only to the singles including single parents, separated, divorced and widowed. In practical terms, it is a way of having your “potential partners” as platonic friends.

Apparently the admirers “came late” (when you are already committed to someone else). These category of friends can be neighbours, colleagues at work, church members, online friends or school mates. However, if your relationship is healthy, there’s absolutely no need for any back-up plan. A hotel staff had turned down a proposal because she was “engaged.” Notwithstanding, they were communicating because the man was a regular lodger in the hotel whenever he came to town for business.

Some months later, she found out her fiancé was expecting a baby from a girl he impregnated when he went for Christmas in his village. In short, his family preferred him to marry the girl; and thus they parted ways. Her mood betrayed her problem to the lodger who seized the opportunity, while empathizing and encouraging her, to reopen discussion on his earlier proposal.

A few months into the relationship, they got married. Still on Hookup As torrents of requests are streaming in, I want to inform that our format is different as everyone asking to be hooked up will undergo screening as well as the would-be partner before they can be connected. For details and requests on Hook-Up only, call or send your request to: 08059964446. Your privacy is protected.

• A financial consultant needs an educated, independent and Igbo speaking woman aged 45 to 55 years old.

• Middle-age career women need working class men between 35 and 50 years old

• Young enterprising ladies need educated, working class men aged 30 to 40 years. • A UAC retiree needs a woman aged 55 and above as a life companion. She must be an educated and working class who lives in Edo State preferably Benin City.

•A 35-year-old graduate of Civil Engineering and gainfully employed needs a lady (22 – 33 years old) as a life partner.

These requests were made public because the choices are not available on our list yet. Send your responses/private issues to: mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk +234-(0)8035304268 – SMS/WhatsApp +234-(0)8059964446 – Private Issues

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