I remember my wife Carol and I had an argument during which I told her “I am the head of this house”. She replied with words like these filled with seriousness and humour; “I have no problem in agreeing with the fact that as my husband you are the head of this house.
But it is good for you to also know that if you are the head of this house then, I am the neck of this house”. Words like these followed later; “God gave me to you as your wife to help you succeed but if you think that I am competing with you, I can as well keep quiet.” Boy, those words knocked some sense into my head.
Since that time, I never used the words, “I am the head of this house” again. I did not want to be a Napoleon who “is always right” as portrayed in George Orwell’s classic titled, The Animal Farm. But Carol’s response did not portray a person with a weak spirit. I had the option of bruising, battering and breaking her spirit thereby making her to be a weak wife.
The second option was to deliberately take steps to make her a stronger woman and wife than the girl I married. I did not even give one second thought towards executing the first thought because; making a wife to be weak is not supposed to be part of the character of a real man. I therefore decided to make her strong. I have seen that my having a strong wife is helping me greatly to fulfil my destiny. God said in Genesis 2:18 … “I will make him an help meet for him”.
When God said “I will make him an help meet for him”, He simply meant that He will make for the man a helper, a companion. The question now is; will you want your helper to be weak or strong? As for me Charles the son of Israel Ighele, I will prefer my helper to be strong.
God wired every part of the woman to be of help to the man. But some men think that they do not need spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical help and occasional dozes of wisdom, knowledge and understanding from their wives. Some think that their wives’ place is “in the kitchen” and “the other room”.
Some husbands will tell their wives “mind your business.” But they do not know that her business is to mind your business. I know that some women who do not truly love their husbands because of their self-centeredness have abused and misused and confused their husbands’ lives.
But this does not mean that all women should be confined to a corner of your life. A strong man is the man who will build up a weak wife and make her stronger. A strong man is the man who will make a strong wife stronger. A strong man is the man who can live joyfully in the same house with a spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually and a-talent-exhumingconfident strong woman. May men be strong enough to make their wives strong enough? Love you.
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