Caught with his ex

Imagine this, a man tells you how much his ex-girlfriend disappointed him jilting him for an older man who already had two wives? He says it with such convincing selfpity and agony that you have to comfort him by promising never to let him down.

He burns all her photographs and cards that she’d sent to him when the going was good. He vows never to talk to her again even if this life depends on it. Then one day you return earlier than usual from work and decide to go kill time in his flat and do some cooking for him. And what did you find?

The purportedly much hated ex-girlfriend in the warm embrace of the purportedly wronged boyfriend. Who’s fooling who? Is it that men just don’t know what they want or simply can’t be bothered whose ox is gored while they are seeking their pleasures?

If he tells you it’s raining outside, make sure you take your umbrella because what he really means is that the sun is out in all its blazing glory.

One can’t really say for sure whose side they are on or when they are crossing the carpet. It doesn’t even make a difference whether the man is married to you or not. Some men go back to their ex-wives even after they’ve told their new wives that: “If I ever see that woman again, I’ll kill her.”

It’s all bravado and hurt pride. Men never seem to be able to say good bye once and for all. When they say goodnight, they mean good evening or, better still, welcome.

Or how do you explain this? A man divorced his wife on grounds of infidelity, laziness and a whole lot of other jargons he must have put together. Meanwhile, he got the custody of the two children of the marriage.

He remarried but as the court allowed that the ex-wife could visit her kids, she came once in a while to do so. Then suddenly the new wife found out that the ex-wife was pregnant. And guess who was responsible? The husband who was supposed to hate the sight of his exwife!

The husband who complained and wore a permanent frown each time the ex-wife came to visit. The husband who said he could kill that useless woman. The murderous, cheating, lying son-of-a-bitch! So you see, there’s no exceptional category. Both the marrieds and the unmarried do it.

Ask your friends, male or female, if his or ex-partner had not wangled his or her way back into the bed they used to share. At least, if he or she didn’t succeed, it’s not for want of trying. That’s how men get themselves messed up all the time. Ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, or even ex-mistresses have ways of making claims and holding on like parasitic leeches.

It hurts, really hurts when a man who’s promised his undying love for you turns out to be a Judas. Men are well known for their lies. They cheat, apologise, charm you, you forgive then only for them to cheat again. Women cheat too.

I know, so don’t scream yet. But I’m talking about men, as usual. There’s nothing new about a man wandering away from his matrimonial vows. They do it all the time. It’s when and why they wander back to their ex-girlfriends or sugar mummies or even wives that it hurts a plenty. It gets the poor woman wondering.

I mean, the one who’s supposed to be the current champion. What could or can cause such callous acts? It’s not that the new girl was the one who separated them in the first place. It is the randy man who came begging, toasting and promising heaven and earth. He was the one that said he had had enough of his ex and she was now history, his past.

If it were possible, he was the one who almost turned blue in the face trying to convince the new girl that his ex-wouldn’t come back, neither will he go back to her. Sure, we all know the power of exes and any girl who fails to do her research about why her new boyfriend is replacing her predecessor is not smart enough. If the excuse he gave for their parting is too flimsy, don’t get involved.

Like, if he told you, he’s leaving her because she has no sense of time and litters his flat with her things, he can’t be serious with you. Tell him to show you a woman who doesn’t like to keep a man waiting. If only to see how far his patience can go. Or on the other hand, which man hasn’t at one time or the other stood his girlfriend up.

Every girl likes to put her stamp on the guy’s flat in case of intruders. It’s not that she’s untidy. That pant and bra in the bathroom, the new broom and dustbin, her powder and perfume on the dresser are all intentional. To show she’s the woman around here.

That’s why women give their wrappers to their boyfriends as cover cloth. A cover cloth made for a man is different from a woman’s wrapper, you know. When Sunny’s wife caught him about four years ago with a woman who from all intents, purposes and ramification was his mistress, he apologized.

Maybe because their marriage was still fresh and he was still very much in love with his wife. Now, the woman and Sunny are back together and she’s staking claims and threatening that if Sunny’s wife thought she could get her out of his life before, she could go have her head examined.

Can you beat the cheek, the insult, just because you have a man who keeps dropping his pants each time he sets eyes on his ex?

Now, Sunny’s explanation is that he went back to the woman because he thought she would be easy to dispose of as usual. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He’s one messed up guy. I tell you, because he still wants his wife, doesn’t want a second wife and neither wife nor mistress is ready to let him have his peace of mind.

Whichever way you look at it, each time a man wanders back into the arms or bed or both of his ex, he ends up cheating both women. For in most cases, he doesn’t actually leave the new girl or commit himself to the ex. He ends up using and betraying both.

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